I was 12 or 13. It was an after-school program about promoting or identifying genius or something like that. The speaker had us doing various tests to see where we fell on the genius spectrum. One of the questions he asked was what our favorite book was. I remember, distinctly, answering that it was Robin McKinley’s The Blue Sword. And I remember, distinctly, the disdain on the speakers face when he understood I was talking about some kids book.
And I wasn’t hurt or embarrassed so much as surprised. It was a fantastic book! There were horses! And swords! And the girl learned to fight and had adventures! Besides, a steady diet of books like The Blue Sword and the Alanna books and the Harper Hall series and even Eowyn in The Lord of the Rings had already shown me that my heroes would have to fight to be taken seriously, to do the things they wanted to in life. So I shrugged off the response, went home, and probably cracked open my copy for a bazillionth re-read.
I am not sure I will ever know exactly what those books did for me. I am privileged to have spent most of my life in financial security and comfort, among open-minded people who encourage both girls and boys to go after their dreams. My wonderful parents have always supported and believed in me. Even while pursuing traditionally male-dominated fields I was lucky enough never to encounter someone who told me “girls can’t do science”. I never had to deal with a Master Morshal, telling me girls can’t be harpers. I didn’t have to dress as a boy to go get my Masters in Mathematics.
Still, I believe those stories gave me something, a core belief that I could do anything I wanted, if I tried hard enough. They gave me the conviction that every human being, male or female, deserves to be taken seriously and respected in their endeavors.
Lately I’ve been wondering if those books, the ones I loved so much, still have the same impact today. Do girls today still need stories like that?
And then I stumbled across this fascinating NYT article about girls in Afghanistan who are dressed as boys to increase their family’s social standing or out of economic necessity. It’s a long article, but well worth reading. But if you don’t have the time right now, here’s an excerpt:
Zahra attends a girls’ school in the mornings, wearing her suit and a head scarf. As soon as she is out on the steps after class, she tucks her scarf into her backpack, and continues her day as a young man. She plays football and cricket, and rides a bike. She used to practice tae kwon do, in a group of boys where only the teacher knew she was not one of them.
Most of the neighbors know of her change, but otherwise, she is taken for a young man wherever she goes, her mother said. Her father, a pilot in the Afghan military, was supportive. “It’s a privilege for me, that she is in boys’ clothing,” he said. “It’s a help for me, with the shopping. And she can go in and out of the house without a problem.”
Both parents insisted it was Zahra’s own choice to look like a boy. “I liked it, since we didn’t have a boy,” her mother said, but added, “Now, we don’t really know.”
Zahra, who plans on becoming a journalist, and possibly a politician after that, offered her own reasons for not wanting to be an Afghan woman. They are looked down upon and harassed, she said.
“People use bad words for girls,” she said. “They scream at them on the streets. When I see that, I don’t want to be a girl. When I am a boy, they don’t speak to me like that.”
I hope that there are books being published that someone like Zahra can read and find herself in. Books that can help her find and preserve that same core of self-belief.
What about you guys? Did you read about Alanna and Harry and Menolly when you were younger? Did it affect how you dealt with sexism in the real world?
