Doubt is one of my biggest challenges as a writer. I say “challenges” rather than “enemies” because sometimes the doubt is justified, so I can’t just ignore it. If I’ve got a niggling feeling that something isn’t right in the last chapter, it’s because there really is something that needs fixing. When it becomes problematic is when it paralyzes me during a draft (like, say, right now).
I don’t generally doubt my basic plot element (this is the thing that comes to me first — for FORTUNE’S FOLLY this was the question “what if there was a fake prophecy someone needed to make come true?”).
But I doubt a lot of my other choices: Should this be first or third-person? Who should be the point-of-view character? Where should the story start? Should it go this way or that way? I worry that maybe I am making certain choices because they are comfortable and have worked before, and that maybe I am just being a coward for not trying new things. I worry that I’ll spend months writing a book only to look at it when I am done and hate it and need to redo it all.
What I am trying to keep in mind is that for some of those questions, there may not be one “right” answer. If I tell the story one way, I get one book. A different choice might lead to a different book, but not necessarily a better book. But if I don’t make a choice at all, if I sit here at my keyboard paralyzed by the doubt, nothing will get written.
I’ve come to believe that one of the the best things I can do to improve as a writer is to understand my own process (and keep in mind that process can change with each book, just to keep things interesting). For example, I almost always go through a period where I doubt whether my main character is fully-realized and alive. And usually that doubt is a sign that she/he is NOT. When the character is ready, when I’ve found her and she’s alive, I know it. There’s no more doubt. Or rather, there’s a different kind of doubt. At that point I “only” have to worry about whether I am capable of conveying that life to the reader!
So, I am going to keep writing. I may go back and start over a different way, and see if I like it better. I may keep going with what I have now. But eventually I will get to the end. And it won’t be perfect by any means, but it will be a step forward. I just need to keep moving forward, and not get paralyzed by doubt.
Some other stuff:
~The results are up for author Lisa Mantchev’s LOLShakespeare contest, which I was lucky enough to help judge. Check them out over here. It was very very hard to choose favorites! But I do particularly like the pile of white cats in the Band of Brothers picture.
~Copy-edits on THE MAGICAL MISADVENTURES OF PRUNELLA BOGTHISTLE are on the way, and should arrive tomorrow. Woo! My wonderful copy-editor on FORTUNE’S FOLLY found several things I completely overlooked that would have embarrassed me considerably had they made it to print, so I am curious to see what’s been discovered this time. Thank goodness for copy-editors!
